fortunate misfortune

Learning to walk differently has never been harder. I have walked down these same streets dozens and dozens of times, but this time it’s new. I believe that it is the most fortunate misfortunate, making room to leave room, making time to have time, leaving space when all is crowded, slowing down the race to simply live, not win. I have seen life as a contest, constantly trying to win something. Constantly asking the bigger, faster, better questions, comparing, contrasting, criticizing, disengaging just incase I had been considered at loss. I would take myself out of the game when it came time to really play, talk the talk, walk the walk until it got really hard. I never knew how to live my life by letting life be left alone, I took my life in my hands and declared victory every chance I had. But now, right now, I must allow the time to be, the game to rest, the questions to remain and the answers silenced in confusion, I must allow this fortunate misfortune be my prompt, my cue to let go is now and my stage is not observed by anyone as I thought. I have nothing to perform, no rewards to gain, my intended misfortune has now become my call. I live with priorities aside, my relationships as a guide, no task is too big, not calling to loud, just the simple grace of family and friends to become my prize. The now is fully present, the not yet will come in time, but if you wait until tomorrow the gift of the morning will pass by. Live in this time, not waiting until then, working on the now for then, will only leave you satisfied once, but if you enjoy the now and live for it, your satisfaction will never end. These streets are indeed the same, the person walking them has had no outer change, the person inside has never walked these streets, the person inside, is different, walking with intention.

wealth

I am surrounded by a wealth, seduced by servants of selves, a cult of the fancy and luxury, all aware of each other but never knowing, concerned, recognized, welcomed but only judged. This society of numbers, counts it’s worth on the shallow surfaces of labels. A hallowed monument for a competitive position; these friends bite back, snarling and groveling over the next consumption. The god they serve is the mirror, the power received fiery statues of the flammable expense. Receiving only what one wants to insure, such a god is this! The gold veneer weighs heavily on ones knees, each step reduces the muscles to atrophy. Follow your will in this world of gods, purchase your fantasy and eat up your vanity; your world is flat and you are building bridges, live in your self and deny the other, justify your wealth never expose your cover.